WHATEVVSSS!!

ewan ko.. malabo.

bigla kong naisip na ganito.

masakit eh.. pero tingin ko, kailangan kong gawin 'to..

sobrang affected ako e.. pero, i have to LET GO of this. kasi it is really NOT WORKING.

sobrang yun yung tamang salita..

oo, masyado kong naging trying hard na maging kami. i actually felt like i've insisted this thing.
wala naman syang pakielam e.
magalit ako o hinde, AS IF HE WILL CARE.. kaya nga, i dont bother GETTIN MAD at him. kasi, i'm so sure.. WALA LANG YUN.

ok. pumasok ako sa relasyon para MASABING, I GOT WHAT I WANTED.
at kung malaman ng circle of friends ko.. "huwow jmhie! fabuloso!"

pero HINDE e. mahal ko sya. mahal na mahal. malaki utang na loob ko sakanya, mabait sya. minsan nagagampanan nya. pero KULANG. minsan, i'm thinking if ako ang mali.. oo siguro. pero DAAAAMMNNN!!! i just dont feel ANYTHING from him. as in like.. OK. KAMI. PERIOD. oha!

walang spice. walang buhay. wala lahat. badtrip.

sana, nararamdaman nya kung ano feeling ko ngayon. my gawd! it's 1AM. i have class at 7am. and i am sure i will fuckin mess my day again later. GO MISS CLUMSY!

awts. LORD! give me a sign. i love him, but i can't really call him mine! :(

i HAVE the THING. but not his HEART.

it's all set. we're together.
we finally set things up.
we're now on our second week.

but, we're NOT LEGAL.

not legal because..
*our friends doesn't know everything.
*we don't want it to be publicized..
*we think it will be AGAINST THE ODDS..

IT'S NOT NORMAL. really.

idk why.

it's just like, it's my first time to be like on this situation.
not legal.
not show off.
not LIKE we're ON.

it's awkward. right?

wuukkii.. here's my point.

yea. it's a SECRET. but, why is it like IT'S NOTHING. NOTHING at all.
secret is like there's a sensitive case of a stuff. a big stuff. and IT MUST HAVE SOMETHING ON IT. but, why is it like it's NOTHING?!

gawddd!! i dont know now. i cant get my point.

i want to end this but i dont want to lose someone so special to me.

IT'S NOT WORKING. that's the whole point.
NOTHING'S GOIN ON.

if i'll stop this thingy here. for sure, even our friendship will be messed up. :(

what am i gonna do?!

...urgh.. soo complicated now.. can anyone post a comment here?!

READY? GET SET. GO JMHIE!

i've finally decided stuffs and finally made up my mind.

i will AGAIN let go of the feelings i have..

i don't know if i tried it that HARD. i just don't want to pursue this feeling
cuz i know, i know.. it will FREAKIN HURT ME AGAIN.. just like what had happen before..

but this time, this time.. no reasons at all. i just want to LOVE MYSELF. and for once, not to HURT her anymore, for like a HUNDRED of TIMES now..

i don't see things NEGATIVELY between HIM and ME.
but others do.

so, better live the FEELINGS i have rather than LOSING people who gives me HAPPINESS everyday.

LOVE is taking risk.
like:
i told him i LOVE him, he didn't answer back but put our conversation to other stuffs, but didn't say that I SHOULD STOP. (that makes me think, it's not negative.)
i'm showing him how much i care. he appreciate things but NOT that showy to tell. (i bet.)
he cares, but again.. HE'S NOT THAT SHOWY. but i think he actually do. (i bet.)
geeee.. GOT SOO MANY THINGS THAT KEEPS ME FEELING THIS WAY.

but then again, i'm setting things straight. stayin' here all by myself. i guess, not showing up will help me do my thing.. :)

*oiaf: very big thanks to my friends who gave advices. :) i soo LUUURRRVVV u guys. :)