"HAYAAN MO NA LANG.."

that is the word i keep on hearing until i go home from school.

well.. my friends told me to just GO WITH THE FLOW.

idk. life isn't kind to me this past few days.

everyone knows that I'M FREAKIN' GAGA OVER THIS GUY. (oh my. i'm sorry. yes. until now.)

why on earth im still asking if i'm important to him?
why am i still expecting him to give me attention?
why am i still goin GAGA over him?
gawwwrrrddd!!

ewan ko ha?.. pero, i keep on insisting myself that i've finally moved on. pero, tingin ko.. HINDI PA TALAGA. ang gulo!!

kanina, we're planning for another sleepover here at my place. our friend asked him if he can go. ewan ko kung nagpapapilit lang sya or he really mean it.. ayaw nya sumama. for the first time, na-bother tuloy ako kung bakit. andaming pumasok sa isip ko, like, naiilang na sya sakin, naiirita na sya sakin or pinipigilan na sya ng kung sino man na sumama samin. ewan. pero, isa lang naramdaman ko nung sinabi nya yun.. I WAS HURT.
kasi, he can say na
"ayoko, kasi may gagawin ako.",
"di pwede kasi nagpapa-good shot ako."
ok lang sana, kung ganun yung binitawan nya..

hindi e. ganito.. "hindi naman laging pwede e. dun ako magsleepover kila *********. kung gugustuhin ko naman, pwede. nasakin yung desisyon."

so what are those words for?! nananadya ba sya?! OMG. and to think, na nandun ako. *my tears really want to burst out, pero wala na. ubos na.*

i talked to my better friend. sabi nya, "hayaan mo na lang. habang pinapansin mo, lalo kang masasaktan, di ba sabi ko naman sayo, HINDI KA IMPORTANTE SA KANYA. i can feel it."
(eto ang problema sa friend ko na to, straight-forward. di nya inisip na nasasaktan ako. lol)

paulit-ulit nyang sinabi yun. feeling ko, lalo lang bumigat pakiramdam ko. :( lalo lang nagkaron ng lamat yung puso ko. an-corny ko. hayyy!!]

ayaw ko na.

i want to forget you. pero, gusto ko maitago friendship natin.

sana, makicooperate ka. hahayaan ko lang.. hahayaan ko lang. :(